Teach for America: My journey through it

This week which only started three days ago has not been an easy one. Monday started as most days go but things changed. My fourth period walked in and it was a behavior disaster from the moment the bell rang. As I began to lose my cool and start yelling which is a trap I want to avoid I saw little faces looking back at me. There were some students who were looking up at me in sheer embarrassment. They were embarrassed by their peers and embarrassed that someone was yelling again. Yelling and aggression is how must things are done down here and that is how most kids respond. I have had students tell me I need to yell in their face to get their attention. If you know me you know I am not a yeller. The rest of the day proved to be worse and worse. The next day got better but I walked to the parking lot in a daze thinking about the systemic change that needs to take place in that school. I got a phone call as I got to my car and I vaguely recognized the number. It was my best friends mom calling to tell me my best friends boyfriend had died the night before. 

We talked for a while and she told me not to come Columbia she would see me later. I went home and cried and cried. My internet would not work. I ended my crying gut wrenching sobs to the Indian man with tech support because he could not help me as the office had close 1 minute before. I got in the car and drove to Columbia. We laughed and drank wine and it was good. I thought having gone through something like this I would know what to say to her. However true empathy is one of the most intense feelings I felt stuck and caught. No words were good enough because no words had been good enough for me then. 

I talked to my mother later and she wondered if this was all just a test. My friend was the last person I would want or think should go through this. Their relationship was passionate, intense and tumultuous. To have it all end like this seems odd and unfamiliar. My grandmother would be the LAST person I would ever think to be a victim of Alzheimers. She was so kick ass. She danced, wore red lipstick, and was amazing. And now she does not recognize herself or how amazing she was. Its cruel. And to lose a father that loved my sister and I more than the moon and stars not be able to quit smoking seems bizarre to this day. How could another human being love someone like he loved us and not be immortal? This all must be a test. And I suppose they will continue. 

Today in our STEM lab the students were being shown alternate forms of energy and their many uses. A picture of a smart car came up and my student, Tyrek stated: “That looks like a car Ms. King would drive.” 

Another student said “No way man, she has a Honda  FIt, thats a LEV. Its not as good as a Honda FIt but still kinda good for the environment.” 

At least my environmental concerns are rubbing off on them in some way. They still have a problem with basic recycling. 

Student: Ms. King, do you know who Justin Bieber is?

Me: Well yes I do… why?

Student: Well Ms. King I was just thinking you know you have his haircut.”

Me: Is that a compliment or an insult?

Student: Ummmmmmmmm for you I guess its a compliment. 

Students: 

“Ohhhhh Ms. King just got ghetto!!!”

After I playfully got in a kids face after he told me not to change the powerpoint slide

Students: 

Ms. King you could maybe make it in the projects.

Me: Holly Hill has projects? What are they like?

Students: DRAMA

One Student: Ms. King did you know they will sell you a phone for a day there? And it is only ten dollars!?

My students also use the term Bo on a regular and annoying basis.

They also want to know why I always “make them talk so good all the time?”

So I am now a 6th grade science teacher at a middle school in Holly Hill. It is an interesting town to say the least. I teach in the much older part of the building that has a very distinct aroma of chemical days gone by. However it is my own room. I am teaching at a school with no other TFA corps members. It is a bit lonely without them but I have a very supportive staff. So I am thrilled about that. I am also only 1 of 4 white teachers in the whole school. There are 14 white 6th grades and under 10 7th and 8th graders. It is a bit extreme having just come from Kentucky where it was the exact opposite. When I asked my principal about this she said something like this.

“Honey the white kids go to the academy and the black kids go to public school. Thats the way it has been and thats the way its always gonna be. Even the white teachers in this district send their kids to private school. There is no need to be PC about it. But we are gonna change that.”

One way we are supposed to change that is going to the churches. We need to band together and recruit the white kids to our school. If we don’t we lose our magnet school funding because currently we are teaching to a majority black population. And majorities don’t fly, no matter what the color. My first thought was what about the families that don’t go to church. I realized as soon as I thought this that it was very silly. Holly Hill and Santee may not have much but they do have churches. So congregate I shall. 

So I finally made it to Kentucky and am very excited to have an interview today at Lynn Camp Schools near London, KY. The rest of the corps is a bit jealous because it is in a more populated area. Though I am excited it is my only interview, so its this or nothing. If I do not get this job I will hopefully be signed on as a full time sub until someone hires me as a highly qualified teacher. I will be paid by TFA for up to 90% of what I would be making as a full-time teacher for 8 weeks. If the full time sub thing does not work out they will try and transfer me to another area after the first week of school. If after 8 weeks of no subbing or transfer they will have to let me go. I will be allowed a deferral but may have to complete Institute again and go through the entire hiring process again! So lets hope this job works out! 

So it is a little nerve racking but not nearly as bad as my fellow corps members who were slated to teach elementary school. There are absolutely no openings for them at all. They are already in the process of doing the long term sub thing. There may be some elementary positions that open up eventually but not by the first day of school. Anxieties and emotions are definitely on full alert at this point. 

Oh by the way if I do get this job I start school MONDAY. And I would still have to look for a place to live. 

So yesterday I began my excursion back to the great state of Kentucky. MS and KY could not be more different. I went from very flat to very not flat. I stopped along the way at Grandma’s and what should await me? 2 pans of fried chicken, butter beans, squash casserole, heirloom tomatoes, biscuits, rice and gravy and peach cobbler. It could have been my last meal and I would have died very very happy. Due to the intense digestion that needed to take place and the resulting lethargy I was late getting started on my journey up the mountain so to speak. I then ran into issues with the much in need of updating Garmin, as it did not recognize anything in Hazard, KY. So I picked a place that was vaguely where I needed to go and hoped for the best. I got stuck in not one but two detours around Asheville and wanted desperately to just stop and stay in Biltmore Village. I was then tested by increasingly angry monsoons. As I drove up the mountains I literally could not see 6 inches in front of my windshield and on a mountain there is really no place to pull over. I finally saw a familiar looking mustang and thought it was a fellow corps member on his way to Appalachia as well. It was not. The fake mustang driver then proceeded to flirt with me and even follow me off an exit. It was terrifying until I lost him at a McDonalds. I got back on my way and had to pull over at overlook again due to the rain. I thought I saw an exit up the road so I braved the storm and drew the one mile up the road and stayed at a hotel for the night. I was only 1 hour away from my final destination but I could not continue any further. It was an adventure to say the least. 

6 weeks

Over 3,000 miles

3 different states

10 students

3 teachers

3 different roommates

9 hours of graduate courses

3 weeks without a cell phone

4 hours average of sleep every night

5 am to 5 pm every day

9 Advanced Proficient Ratings

801 corps members in the Delta

50 teachers at WEBB

1,103,108… pieces of paper

So I just left the great state of MS and I have a lot of time to reflect on its understated beauty. Driving through the country for an hour every day at 5am and 5pm were truly beautiful times of day. There were fields as far as the eye can see. Due to these fields there were also numerous crop dusters. This is something I have never seen and something I was quite terrified of. On my way to Canton I saw something dipping in the sunset barely missing the cars passing on the highway. I cam upon the very small plane and felt I could reach out my windows and touch the wings with my fingertips.

As far as smells go MS is a smorgasbord of odors. Not all of them are pleasant. In fact most of them were not at all pleasant. On the way to our school every morning there was a certain point on our journey that absolutely reeked of garbage and refuse. It was so intense that often woke the slumbering teachers. But there were also wonderful smells. Great smells of barbeque and rain. The sky would often open in the late afternoon and dump buckets of rain. It would come and go in a second, but would be there just long enough to drench the inside of our school buses.

The people of MS were some of the nicest I have ever met in my entire life. I had no less than 5 dinner invitations from complete strangers. Our faculty advisors and parents of the community were so humble and welcoming to all of us. It was a wonderful experience to see so many people that love their home so much.

Even though my area had some of the lovliest people I have ever met it was in great need of reconstruction. When I arrived to my school site I noticed the homes looked like old sharecropper  houses. Many of the windows were boarded with balsa wood and one home had a human sized hole in the side of the wall. Curr dogs ran around and laid lazily in the middle of the streets. Some men drank in the hot sun on their porches all day while women went to work. Small children walked themselves to school and I often wondered how they were able to make the journey.

I wish I had seen more of MS but I was so busy with Institute that it was not possible. Howver, it  has so much rich culture and diversity to offer as well as potential. And don’t forget to try the Rotel while you are there.

The students had to fill out surveys on each of their teachers this past week. Here are some of the questions they were asked about me and their responses. 

Question 1: I know what behavior my teacher expects from me at all times. (Most students answered Most of the TIme or Yes Always)

Follow Up Question: Can you explain why you chose that answer for Question 1? 

Because most of the time I be good she don’t have to say nothing to me. 

Because I know what kind of behavior my teacher wants from me. 

Because she is a good read teacher she is nice and also excited!!!!!

Because she is the teacher. 

I choose this answer cause I always know the behaviors that my teacher give me. 

Yes, always because she might tell my parents. 

Question 2: Students were asked if they could achieve their goal for the summer and why? 

Yes always because I can get my goal up. 

Yes because our teacher want us to reach the goal. 

Why because I didn’t get to get my way I still say she is a good teacher. 

Because ms king teaches very well. 

I will she has taught me how to do Reading so I can. 

Question 3: If you do like this class what does the teacher do to make you feel that way? 

By helping me achieve my goals. 

Teach and make things fun. 

I like this class we get 3 teachere they are all nice. But when we get bad they get mad. 

I like this class because we get a class point for working hard. 

They make me feel proud for being in the class. 

i Like this class. 

Question 4: If you do not like this class, what does the teacher do that makes you feel that way? 

When they like just start been mean tous. Ljust get mad. 

Question 4: How do you know whether or not this teacher truly cares about you?

Because the first day I was at summer school the sad the always care to us. 

Yes always because they me with work. 

My teacher cares about me cause they always help us if we are having problems with things. 

Because she helps me alot. 

Open ended Responses

I like this class cause my teacher help us with anything we need help with or have problems with. 

I have nice teachers but they will always say they will care for all the time.